The Permission Problem
You’ve made your inventory. You can see your advantages on paper — knowledge, relationships, resources, traits, and experiences. The next question is simple but surprisingly difficult: Are you willing to use them?
Many people hesitate here. They look at their advantages and feel a twinge of guilt. They wonder if using them makes them selfish, entitled, or unfair. They worry about being judged for “taking advantage.”
This is where you have to untangle the phrase. Taking advantage is not the same as taking advantage of others. You can use what you have without exploiting anyone. In fact, when you use your advantages well, you often create more value — not just for yourself but for others too.
Why We Hold Back
There are three common reasons people stop short:
- Fear of Judgment: “Who am I to use this connection or resource?”
- False Humility: “I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging or pulling strings.”
- Hesitation to Stand Out: “If I use what I have, people might expect more from me.”
But refusing to use what you have doesn’t make you virtuous — it just keeps you small.
The Ethical Lens
If you’re worried about fairness, here’s a simple lens:
- Constructive Use: Does using this advantage help you grow, contribute, or create something valuable?
- Destructive Use: Does using this advantage harm others, manipulate, or take what isn’t yours?
If it’s constructive, you have not only permission but a responsibility to use it. Otherwise, your advantage sits idle — wasted potential.
From Awareness to Action
Knowing your advantages is not enough. Owning them means you decide, consciously, to put them into play. If you have a relationship that could open a door — open it. If you have knowledge that could solve a problem — share it. If you have access that could make progress easier — use it.
You don’t owe the world self-sabotage in the name of being “fair.” You owe the world the best use of what you’ve been given.
Momentum Move
Choose one advantage from your inventory and decide how you will use it this week. Write it down in a single, clear sentence:
“I will use my [advantage] to [take this constructive action].”
Then do it — and notice how it feels to put an advantage into motion.
